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Professors II

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Nice profs are just that: NICE. Ditch them.

Choose the ones who terrorize you out of your stupor, the ones who roar and belch out fire and smoke, who expect something out of you because they think you’re a human being with the meat of smarts inside your skull.

Choose the ones who throw at you heaps and heaps of requirements as though you were Atlas. It’s pretty cool to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders with intellectual muscle.

Choose the ones who return your papers with detailed corrections. You will feel miserable because of all the red marks, but ultimately glad, because you have LEARNED.

Wonder what professors who don’t return papers do with your crammed but hard-earned labor. Speculate that perhaps they will be fuel in your professor’s next coven meeting, or worse yet, become toilet paper substitute for scraping his/her dog’s poop from off the floor. Cry over your wasted blood and sweat. Carry a grudge. Cry some more. Eat ice cream. Eat chocolate mousse. Sweets are best for despair and celebrations.
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From A Survivor’s Manual, vol. 1 Studying Away From Home ca 16 Jan 2009

Written by thedoe

October 30, 2013 at 11:17 pm

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Professors

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Your participation in class matters. Your effort will go a long way. But some professors just suck.

And some professors are just sick.

And some professors are just full of themselves.

And some professors walk with the divine and talk in tongues.

And some professors are really just machines.

And some professors are rude.

And some professors go nude.

And some professors are just OLD.

But some professors are not just OLD but COOL.

And some professors cross dress, and to this you say, no comment.

And some professors are freaky. They can guess bra cup sizes.

And some professors are confused.

Some professors seem to come from their beds when they come to class. That’s what a bachelor means.

Some professors know no gods.

And some professors are dictators.

And some professors are anarchists.

And some professors are red.

And some professors are sell-outs.

The best professors make you watch porn flicks.

And some professors think the classroom is a stage. It’s best not to take them at face value and read between their lines.

Because some professors like to play games.

With your head.

With rules. With the system. With whatever you hold sacred.

And some professors preach to the class like they’re congregation.

But the best know their shit and practice what they teach.

So take advantage. Great professors are a rare breed. They retire. They die. They go on study leaves. They get married and have kids. They have mouths to feed and get imported to other universities.

Take your professors.

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From A Survivor’s Manual, vol. 1 Studying Away From Home ca 16 Jan 2009

Written by thedoe

October 29, 2013 at 10:59 pm